Jesse slowly opened the heavy wooden door just enough to let her eyes adjust to the dark. There were two cars in the parking lot, but she wanted to make sure there wasn’t a crowd, before entering. “Jesse! How are you? Come in. It’s safe. I promise. My hands are cracked and sore from continually wiping everything down with a Clorox solution.” Hank held up his hands. “You’re okay. I promise. There are only two tables of customers right now.”
“Hank! I’ve missed you. I drove by so many times and wanted to …” Jesse took a seat at the bar, surrounded on both sides by empty bar seats.
“Jesse, don’t apologize. I completely understand. I stayed closed as long as I could, but the bills piled up. I didn’t have a choice. I had to reopen.”
“I tried waiting until the parking lot was empty. How is your family? All healthy? How are you coping?”
“My family is fine.” Hank walked to stand closer to Jesse, but not directly across from her. “How are any of us coping, Jess? Business is down, of course. The good thing is that this place attracts folks who are as concerned about this damn virus as I am. Many wait to come in when there are only a couple cars in the lot. I’m relieved. It’s manageable that way. But still, the bills …” He started to reach for a glass. “Are you having anything today, Jess? How are you? How are your kids?”
“Yes! Beer, please. In a bottle, please.” Jesse winked and shrugged her shoulders. “Sorry, Hank. It took a lot of guts for me to come in here. I’ve so missed this place and you, too, of course!” She thought about taking her jacket off and laying it on a stool, but changed her mind. “Daughter is home, studying online. Son has had a couple scares at work, but tests came back negative. Thank the gods. Although, can any of us really trust the testing?”
Hank had grabbed a glass, but put it in the sink full of soapy water before reaching for a bottle. “Have you had to test, Jesse? I have. It’s not a big deal, but it provides a little reassurance. I guess.” Hank popped the top and slid the bottle down the bar, meeting Jesse half way. “What made you decide to come in today?”
“I’m feeling hopeless, Hank. The election business, on top of the virus, on top of the usual … I’m exhausted, sleepless, frustrated, angry and rudderless. Never mind all the new gray hair.”
Hank laughed, “Join the club! There are quite a few of us, and many of us have gotten grayer.”
Jesse took a napkin and wiped the top of the bottle, pulled down her mask and took a long sip. “I know. And I shouldn’t bring all this negativity in here, but I was starting to feel desperate. I guess I was desperate to know that I’m not alone in feeling this way. I think I know where you stand on a lot of these issues, so I wanted to … I don’t know what I wanted. I just know that things can’t keep heading in this direction.” Jesse took another sip and chuckled. “I like your mask.” He adjusted his mask, embroidered with large white letters on black – Barkeep. “I’ve got another that says, Boss, just in case I’ve got a group in here that doesn’t have a clue.”
Hank folded a bar rag. “I thought of you and your daughter when I heard the announcement for the new Supreme Court appointee. That’s a blow, Jesse. All the progress made, over so many long years … I can’t imagine what you must be thinking. But then, the election, and … Well, I think I know how you feel about that.”
Jesse sighed as she looked at the bottles on the back of the bar. She observed the different colored liquids. Some were dark and rich looking, while others were clear, like water. She thought of the altered states that the liquids produced. She thought of how many sought solace in those colored liquids. How many more are seeking solace in them now?
“I don’t know what to say, Hank. First, I’m mad at myself for taking for granted the progress that women made. I’m mad that I haven’t applied myself to that fight. I feel that many of us have failed the next generations of women, and men, too, by letting this happen. But at the same time, I’m celebrating that we have a woman as V.P. Go figure! And we have a president who might … I dunno. They’ve got a lot of work ahead of them, but I do feel a little safer with those two in place.”
Hank put on a new pair of latex gloves. “I hate these things. I don’t know if it’s better to wear them, or just keep my hands in bleach all day.” He snapped a glove too hard, ripped it, and sighed. “It’s optimistic to think this new administration is going to fix everything, but I do hope it’s a step in the right direction. Have you been in lock-down this whole time?”
“Yes. I’m thankful that I can stay home and still do some work. I do feel guilty for not supporting local businesses, but we all have a different way of coping. I feel bad for not coming in here. I feel bad for not going to my favorite coffee place. Let’s face it! I feel bad about a lot of things!”
Hank nodded his head. “Strange times, indeed.” Just then the door opened and a boisterous group of 20-somethings came in. None were wearing masks. Hank walked around the bar to meet them. “Hey guys! Thanks for coming in, but we’re closing up for the day. Try us again, but please wear your masks next time.” Hanks eyes crinkled, so they knew he was smiling through the mask. He had a way of delivering the message that let the kids know they would be welcome again, but not today.
Jesse watched the group look at each other, look at the two other occupied tables and, rather than pitch a fit, walk out discussing where they might go next. “Nicely done, Hank. I like your style.”
“I’d like their business, Jess, but I’m not going to argue with them about wearing a mask, and I will not risk my other customers or myself. It’s a delicate balance keeping this place afloat. I do not have the energy to argue. It’s just easier to be nice about it.” Hank walked back behind the bar. “You waste energy feeling guilty, Jesse. Conserve your energy. We are all doing our best to get through this.”
Jesse laughed, “Admit it, Hank, your best is better than most.”
“I don’t know what they’re dealing with, Jesse. This is my best. Maybe the folks who get all riled up about masks, maybe that is their best. I don’t know. I only know what works for me.” He laughed, “But I do have the Boss mask, if they want to argue. I’ve only had to use it a couple times.”
Jesse reached for her bottle, “You see why I missed this place? Thanks for being you, Hank.”